09 May 2010

You are hereby notified

to IGNORE any smart comments from Cindi or the kids about dad's grilling abilities.  Besides, it wasn't THAT much of a hassle to thaw out another couple pounds of hamburger, was it?  I've been exiled from the grill for life... I'll stick to baking the desserts.

29 comments:

David Cochrane said...

Burnt sacrifice? Well desserts are part of a well balanced diet too!

Rev. Thomas C. Messer said...

Man up and get back on the grill, dude! Now! That's NOT a suggestion. :)

brycewandrey said...

I grilled today for about 13 adults. It went really well!

Anonymous said...

Rev. Messer... You would not be saying that had you seen the hot dogs and hamburgers! They resembled small hockey pucks!

Father Robert Lyons said...

Hey, I happen to like char-broiled burgers.

Here, I made up Beef Asturias, dilled potatoes, and a salad for my sweetie for Mother's Day. The beef was tenderloin in a sauce consisting of olive oil, white wine, beef broth, onion, spanish paprika, and bleu cheese. Quite tasty. Fortunately, I didn't overcook it... those tenderloins were pricey!

Rob+

Pr. Lehmann said...

Hehehehehehehe!

Paul McCain said...

Oh, for heaven's sake man. Your "man club" membership card has been suspended.

Please do not embarrass the male of the species. Do your duty!

Report back here when you manage to grill some decent burgers.

If you can learn to run in those weirdo toe shoe things, you can learn to grill hamburgers.

William Weedon said...

Oh, bull twinkie on grilling being a measure of manhood. The real measure of manhood is whether you can allow your families a great laugh at your own expense. I have SUCCEEDED in spades!!!

Past Elder said...

Pastor Messer is right! This is a most solemn duty now somebody say Amen.

The only excuse would be if it were a gas grill, because everybody knows real men cook on Webers with charcoal, so to be banned from a gas grill is simply to be prohibited from something that should not be anyway.

We got one of those Vatican II For Grilling contraptions for a wedding present, and I never bloody used it, finally re-gifted it.

OTOH, maybe I should be heading for Father Rob's anyway. THAT sounds GREAT!!!

William Weedon said...

Terry,

I must confess that I absolutely love to hear someone still use the subjunctive. But seriously, I'm never attempting the grill again. Some things were not meant to be: me changing the oil in my car; me cooking hamburgers. It reminded me why my native bent is actually vegetarian!!!

William Weedon said...

The only way to say it better is to lose the "if" and say:

Now, were it a gas grill...

That way of speaking has all but vanished.

Pr. Lehmann said...

Admitting your inclination to vegetarianism to someone other than your vicar? Sheesh. I'm with my fellow men on this one.

Your man-card is officially revoked. You may watch Meryl Streep movies, get manicures, and enjoy the fashion channel at your convenience.

William Weedon said...

Hey, Charlie, wanna go for a run?

Pr. Lehmann said...

Sure, but let's spar first. ;-)

(BTW, I'm in better shape than I was on vicarage, but running isn't my first choice of workout.)

William Weedon said...

Glad to hear you're getting into shape again. Way to go! Seriously, though. These sorts of things that men tout as "marking their manhood" just crack me up.

revmlk said...

"bull twinkie"???????

Now I know your man club card is revoked.....

"bull twinkie"???????

Past Elder said...

Speaking of all but vanished, you didn't say if it WERE a gas grill.

You know grilling was even higher on the agenda than liturgy at Vatican II. Why, it was a hot night in 1962 at Castel Gandolfo and John XXIII was going to grill up some burgers for the boys, and whips out a gas grill. Bugnini immediately produced a novus ordo burgerorum, Kueng burst forth in joy at a rebirth of the Holy Spirit, de Lubac wrote Burgers and the Common Destiny of Man in one sitting, but meanwhile Lefebvre soiled his cassock, Ottaviani passed out, and Felice said it would take at least a century to get a good burger after fifteen minutes of madness by the Pope, then hurled so hard it fell on Polyphemus' statue, making it look more like that of the other -phemus cyclops, his brother Blas, fittingly enough.

Now I got all this straight from Godfrey, so there you have it.

William Weedon said...

Michael,

Sorry, but you lack the authority to revoke...

Father Robert Lyons said...

Past Elder,

Ah, the charcoal burning Weber. Right after we moved into our house, the then president of my wife's division gave us a Weber gas grill. It was free, so I agreed to use it for one season to evaluate it. Hated it from day one, but to be nice to the Missus, I elected to carry that particular burden for a season.

We put the sucker on Craig's List, sold it for $150, and bought a brand new Weber charcoal grill for this season.

I am a very, very happy man.

So, take your choice... Spanish filets or Real Man (TM) Burgers... either way, you'll find it at my casa.

Rob+

Past Elder said...

My choice, great Judas charbroiling, could one enter the Promised Land and choose only the milk, or only the honey? Clearly this must be one of those both/and situations.

Speaking of which, and re the
"and", I would be happy to contribute Real Man Steaks (only turned once) and Real Man Brats. That is if, despite canonical irregularities, I might be given faculties of the patio, so zu sagen.

Oh wow, that's FOUR dinners, more than a week-end. What say we get some of these other real men to join, make it a bleeding convention give the Lord a big shout? Word is PTM is working on a book forthcoming from CPH, the Lutheran Order of the Grill (LOG), based on early Saxon grilling orders.

And hey, poor old PW, what say since his burgers have been fanned into flame we call them Ablaze Burgers??

Finally, enduring a Weber gas grill for a season, what a beautiful following of the example of Christ giving himself up for his bride! A Weber GAS grill, what, they had a rep at Vatican II or something, but I guess in a world where the real lectionary and novus ordo derived one can sit side by side in the same service book what can one expect. Just so they don't call grilling on a REAL Weber the Extraordinary Form or something! Then we'll know the end is near.

Father Robert Lyons said...

Past Elder,

Grilling on a true (i.e., charcoal) Weber is indeed an extrordinary form of preparing animal flesh for consumption! Of course, I am using the term 'extrordinary' in an entirely different manner than the Latins... so be it. I like my way better.

Rob+

brycewandrey said...

All I have to add (for now) is this.

Rev. Thomas C. Messer said...

To my fellow manly men,

Pr. Weedon is in need of our assistance. I have taken the appropriate action in the attempt to assist him in re-discovering his manliness. He will be receiving an item within the next week or so to that end. Until then, I hasten you all to keep this matter in your vigorous prayers, that upon receipt of said item, he would recognize the gravity of this situation, which is surely no "bull twinkie," and do his duty for the sake of our gender.

Your humble servant,
Pr. Messer
Manly Men Headquarters

brycewandrey said...

You didn't send him a George Foreman grill did you?

Rev. Thomas C. Messer said...

Bryce,

Of course not! While I'm not as much of a purist as Past Elder and consider gas grills acceptable, if not preferable, the GF grill is by no means a measure of manliness.

brycewandrey said...

I don't disagree with Hank Hill on many things, but I don't worship at the altar of "Sweet Lady Propane."

Rev. Allen Yount said...

Past Elder,

You astound me. You can go on a rant about Vatican II and the novus ordo even when you're commenting about. Kind of reminds me of how Luther can go into a tirade about the pope, monks and nuns no matter what subject he's discussing. :)

Rev. Allen Yount said...

That should say "even when you're commenting about grilling."

Past Elder said...

Pastor Yount -- I am pleased beyond telling to be compared to Luther in ranting! It's right up there with the day I took the "What kind of Lutheran are you" test on Facebook and came out Luther's Twin!

Father Rob -- I like your way better too, in which sense grilling on a REAL Weber is indeed extraordinary!

Pastor Messer -- I shall join in the prayers for our ailing brother, that he may upon receipt of said, or actually unsaid (ein Messer mit Wellenschliff?) item may assume again his rightful role.

Now as to GF grills, while they indeed do not suffice as a measure of manliness, hey, I got one, and the line-up now includes outdoor grills, but electric ones. At least it ain't propane -- the only gas properly associated with grilling comes after consumption, not in preparation. Just a little table talk there for you!