The latest in our weird food journey

So, if you go back far enough, I was enamored of Laurel's Kitchen and happy to eat vegetarian. We loved making our own bread, even bought our own wheat to grind. And we got fat and fatter. It was pretty unpleasant. I remember looking at pics from 2000 (the year I turned 40) and the size of my gut was ginormous. My face was fat. I had no shortage of chins.

We discovered low-carbing and happily embraced that. Both Cindi and I lost a ton of weight. Got fit, felt great. But we kept tweaking the diet to bring back old favorites. We put Splenda in everything and mastered the art of low carb breads. And guess what? Yup, the weight crept back up.

Then we found Paleo and pursued it with gusto. Good initial returns and then stalls. No more Splenda, of course, but honey and maple syrup took its place. Muffins and various creative uses of tapioca as "flour" and other such. Weight loss stalls.

But the weird thing to me wasn't the increasing weight. It was more that I kept having stomach issues. I had had intestinal surgery right when I was first born (have a butt-ugly scar that runs down the middle of my tummy and throws the navel off-center in a way that drives this symmetry lover crazy), and I'd just always assumed stomach issues were just the way life would be for me.

Back in the summer, late July, heard the strangest few podcasts on Joe Rogan with Dr. Peterson and Dr. Baker. Carnivore? Really? Sounded bizarre beyond belief. But, you know, I wondered. I talked to Cindi about it and we took the plunge. Went against absolutely everything we'd ever heard anywhere. Kids concerned that we're wrecking our health.

It's been five months and...wow. Body transformation like I've never seen despite working out for a long time. I'm not doing all that much. Just body weight exercises. And yet, I look in the mirror in surprise every morning. That's ME? I still deal with a bit of loose skin (I think at my heaviest, when I wasn't weighing, I was about 200 on a very small frame and I'm, well, old). But, but, but: are those really my obliques? Unbelievable.

Stomach issues? What stomach issues??? I was firmly convinced MEAT was difficult to digest, veggies were easy and good for you. I had noticed when I ate broccoli that it didn't agree with me, but surely it was worth it to get all that nutrition, right? Wrong! Meat turns out to be the easiest thing to digest in all the world. No more fear of "accidents" (oh, yeah, that was a constant in the years before). Next to no gas, even. Seriously! Bad breath, which I had always blamed on the ridiculous amount of coffee I drank, took a decided change toward neutral. Weird, weird, weird.

Sleep? Off the charts. And this is what's most exciting: for Cindi too. Cindi has struggled to get a good night's sleep for years and years. Now, it is not unusual for us both to enjoy peaceful full night of rest. We check our sleep app in the a.m. and it regularly tells us: 100%.

Hunger? We're just usually not. Not for long stretches of time. My usual in the workweek is to enjoy some buttered coffee in the a.m. (cause we both love that) with prayers and then I'll eat a hardboiled egg post-workout, about 1 p.m. Dinner is usually over by six. So I generally just eat in a five hour window, leaving the remaining 19 hours of each day free for other activities. No "crashes" during the day because our blood sugar is just always stable.

Cravings? Oh, you mean like when you see some sweet sitting there or smell it? This is the weirdest part of all. You don't care. You don't want it. It doesn't affect you. My kids have told me: "Dad, you have a will of iron." I don't, but they think I do. But Cindi's sweet tooth has always been her downfall. But SHE has no cravings either. None. We enjoyed a fun evening with friends last night who had some sweet concoction at the end. Zero temptation. And when folks say: "Oh, but I'm sorry you can't have any" our usual response is: "we can, but we don't want any. Seriously. You enjoy!"

But, but, but...what do you eat? Stuff we really enjoy: Hamburgers and steaks, salmon, shrimp and scallops and crab, bacon (lots and lots of bacon) and sausages and eggs of every variety, roast beef and some summer sausage (we avoid the kind with corn syrup), occasionally lamb, cheeses of all kinds. No fruits. No veggies. No nuts. No organ meats (we really found we didn't like them). We will still indulge in the occasional glass of red wine, and we drink prodigious amounts of coffee (so far, without any bad effect), and we drink water (including sparkling water).

Lauren's given it a whirl and she's lost quite a bit, as has Cindi. My own weight has stabilized at around 143 to 145. Tons of energy (like I needed more of that, I know). It's simplified cooking and cleanup beyond belief. Meat's easy to prep, cook and clean up. Our latest weirdness but I suspect we just might have landed in the way we'll be eating for years to come.

P.S. We also bought an airfryer and found that THIS is how you make hardcooked eggs. They peel perfectly without exception.