Pastor Curtis

...send me this wonderful letter he wrote to parents of a child who had died before birth:

Beloved friends,

When we know what not to pray, the Spirit prays for us in groanings too deep for words. And if it is the Spirit of God who prays for us, can there be any doubt that his intercessions shall be heard? In that I have been comforted in my prayers for you and your departed child.

Like you, when I learned you were pregnant I prayed for your little one and in that is great comfort as Fr. Luther teaches us in words more eloquent than I am capable of giving (his comments on the loss of a child before birth are appended – though I'm sure you've seen these already). Nor do I think that by writing I can give more or greater comfort than your family and other, closer friends have given you. You have heard the kindnesses or stiffened at the clichés and I do not seek to add to either.

But can I venture one guess as a parent, friend, and pastor? You have either kept praying for your child after death or strongly feel the desire to do so and yet dare not utter the sentiment to others and even feel guilty, or at least uneasy, for it. It is here that I think I can offer some comfort, feeble though my efforts be.

The Protestants among us would deny that prayer for the dead is even allowed, let alone beneficial. What the Protestants fear is that this leads to or implies the papal doctrines of purgatory or limbo. Why, so the thought goes, should we pray for the dead if they are already ever blessed or ever damned? Doesn't prayer imply a sort of middle ground in which some wished for benefit, which the dead do not enjoy, may be granted them through our prayers?

Certainly the papal error is to be avoided. But it is equally certain that Christian prayer for the dead has nothing to do with these unchristian errors. For such a staunch opponent of purgatory as Philip Melanchthon could write in our confessional documents, "We know that the ancients spoke of prayer for the dead. We do not prohibit this. . . .Epiphanius testifies that Aerius believed that prayers for the dead were useless. This he rejects. We do not support Aerius either." (Ap. XXIV.94, 96)

So true theologians of the Augsburg Confession confess that prayer for the dead is not useless. But if it is not useless and at the same time there is no purgatory that the dead need to be prayed out of, what is the use? What does such prayer for the dead do? Let us ask the liturgy of the Church.

Almighty God, you have knit your chosen people together in one communion, in the mystical body of your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Give to your whole Church in heaven and on earth your light and your peace.

This is the first prayer in the general prayers of the Burial of the Dead from LW: Agenda p. 191, and make no mistake, it is a prayer for the dead. In it the Church on earth gathered to bury a Christian prays for the dead ("the Church in heaven") to receive God's light and peace. Is there any doubt that the dead who rest with Christ and make up his Church in heaven already have God's light and peace? None whatsoever. So why the prayer? Is it not then useless?

Hardly. For the prayer confesses and comforts. First, the prayer for the dead confesses that those for whom we pray are at rest with Christ. The prayer is a great Amen back to God. It says to God, "These rest with you – thus bless them ever, Lord Almighty!" If one should object to praying for something that one already has, then let that fool stop saying the Lord's Prayer anytime he feels full, for there would then be no need to ask for daily bread "this day."

Thus, this prayer for the dead is the exact opposite of the papistic error: they pray for the dead because they rest not with Christ, we pray for them precisely because they do. And thus, the prayer comforts as well. It is an affirmation of the communion of saints. Or, to extrapolate the Small Catechism: God certainly gives his light and peace to those who rest with him, even to those for whom no one prays, but we pray in this petition that our Father in heaven would lead us to realize this and receive this gift with thanksgiving.

Finally, I do not know how a mother or father is supposed to learn how not to pray for all their children. The very notion is folly. So confess the faith. Read Luther's words and take them to heart: your child rests with Christ. Then based on this great hope pray with the Church that God's light and peace would be upon your child. It has been and certainly will continue to be my prayer as well.

In Christ,

X

[Luther's words of comfort for those who have suffered a miscarriage can be found in AE 43:245ff.]