You are not alone, when you remember the horror - He is there.
His love has held you all the way.
His arm still holds you.
His hand, marked with the nails, has you tight in His grasp.
Do not be afraid.
Though you have tasted the bitterness of sorrow and defeat;
Though you have doubted that the future could be free of the past;
Though you have wondered if His love were but a delusive dream told to comfort sufferers;
Though you fear for the future and wonder what it will bring -
THIS it will bring:
His body for you, His blood shed for your forgiveness,
Placed into your mouth, the pledge that your sin in all its hideous awfulness
With my own
He has owned as His own and it has no power to separate you from His love.
This will be yours until the day when eyes are opened
And you see. Really see.
Like for the first time.
Better than when you first wore your glasses and the leaves came clear.
Better than every fulfilled hope and joy of this age.
You will see. And you will weep silently in His embrace.
And it will be better than all the pain, all the grief.
You will sing a resurrection song and every pain and sorrow
Will be transformed.
In His arms.
In His strong and never failing arms.
Peace, child, be still.
All is well. All will be well
Amen and amen.
Sing with me?
If thou but trust in God to guide thee...
10 comments:
Wow. How beautiful! Like one who has unfolded a scroll and exposed its contents, you opened my heart and showed me what's there. Then...well, how I yearn to be at the Lord's Table again this Sunday. What a future for one such as I!! Thank you, my friend!
beautiful.
This is very special, thank you.
I needed this today. Thank you.
I'm not M, but this reads like my life, especially since 2000 when a horrible incident threw my life into ruins and my heart and brain into fear.
What you write-is it true for me, too? Does He really love me and want me that much?
And can we please hurry that day when I can see Him face to face? I can't wait much longer.
True for you too, Cass. True for all of us.
I wish it was today and now. I wish I could hurry it up and be with Him. Somedays it's hard to wait and somedays I don't want to wait, to the point I'm shaking with the effort of staying here.
That’s the time when we join Him in the garden and learn from Him and with Him to pray: Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done. And then peace comes. Just like the Apostle taught us: Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your cares upon Him because He cares for you. We can’t cast the cares, till we humble ourselves beneath His will; but once we’ve done that, the cares are on His shoulders, not ours, and then there is indeed the peace that passes understanding. Blessings!
I struggle with His will-especially since it means me being a burden to so many, requiring more help than a dozen normal people, and living in a world that makes no sense, where familiar people are sometimes completely unrecognizable, and a brain that keeps screaming at me that it wants out, NOW.
From your original:
when you remember the horror...
...Though you have tasted the bitterness of sorrow and defeat;
Though you have doubted that the future could be free of the past;
Though you have wondered if His love were but a delusive dream told to comfort sufferers;
Though you fear for the future and wonder what it will bring -
All of that is me on a daily basis. It has been for longer than I know-definitely 2000, but even before, when the past would come and try to devour me or pull it back into it.
I feel like it would be best, not only for me but for everyone I'm a burden to if I wasn't here. A doctor once told me as much and now that I need more help than before, especially those with MDiv behind their names, it seems that he was so right. And the trouble is, right now the fear and the problems are centred around the MDivs and churches, so I have to bother them or I have to leave the church.
Find yourself a congregational home! You need that. And you need a pastor who will pastor you locally. Both of these are must haves. And remember you’re on this pilgrimage for as long as God would have you on it; He knows what He’s doing; you can trust Him. But He definitely works through the local community gathered about His Word and Sacraments. If you need help finding such an assembly just email me your zip, and I’ll suggest something to you, hopefully.
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