Well, we actually are. But because we love him so much, we figured that you all would appreciate this little chronicle of his fun week...
So, Thursday David has an appointment with a counselor to plan his classes for the spring. Seems a tad late for that, you think. You think correctly. "But no one told me that I had to register for classes." "David, you are 18 and need to take care of things like this for yourself."
Thursday morning I'm ready to leave for a full day in St. Louis, and I think: "Hmm. Haven't heard David up yet. I guess his appointment is later than I thought." Out the door I go.
Sitting in Dr. Nagel's office, the phone rings. David. In a panic. "Dad, my car is smoking badly and the check engine light is on. What should I do?" "Stop and call AAA." "No, Dad, I can't stop. I'll miss my appointment with the counselor." "Okay, well, you could try to keep going to make it to school." "No, I can't go. It's smoking like crazy. What should I do?" "David, I'm in St. Louis. I can't get there soon enough to help you." And then, being the great dad I am, I remember the universal cop-out. "Call your mother." "Okay, bye."
Mother is called (she works only a few miles away) and drops her work and heads out to help son. However, she thinks about Opa (who used to work on cars) and tells David to call his grandfather. Which David does - sort of. You see, he started the call and got through, but then his battery ran out in his cell phone. Mother cannot figure out why David is no longer answering his phone. She arrives about the same time as Grandma and Opa and things do not turn out nicely. Mother discovers that said son 1) set but did not turn ON his alarm; 2) was in a panic because he was planning to get up early to finish his homework (which obviously didn't happen) and further was in such a panic at the time that he left his transcripts behind that he needed for the meeting he was now missing anyway; 3) had run out of the house without getting himself a thing to eat; 4) despite nearly daily admonitions to plug in his cell phone at night so it would be recharged, hadn't bothered AGAIN; 5) had not thought to put any money in his wallet (which might have had something to do with the fact that he didn't have any to put it in, but that is another story). At this point, understand, that it is not only the car that is steaming. A steaming mother is a frightening thing to behold. Good thing I was over in St. Louis! Whew!
Thank God for Opa and Grandma being local now! They arrive to sit with David and his car so mom can get back to work. Opa and Grandma figure out that David needs a woman who will organize and run his life for him. ; )
Is the saga over? Well, the car needed a new radiator; it was not David's fault that it sprung a leak. It was just David's fault that he overslept, had to have an appointment with the counselor because he hadn't registered, had a cell phone with no juice, and had to fed lunch and given a few bucks. BUT the next day, steam came out of Mother's ears once again. She walked into David's room to empty his trash (he wouldn't think of doing that himself - who cares if there's food in his trash a couple weeks old?), and she discovers his retainer with distinct marks of being chewed by the dog. Understand this is NOT the first retainer to suffer such a fate. It's not even the second; and I'm not sure it's the third.
The lad is brilliant, witty, and charming. Is there ANYWAY we could purchase for him some foresight about practical matters such as 1) classes don't fall into your lap automatically; 2) cars need gas and bodies need food and both cost money which needsd to be in your pocket; 3) dogs like the taste of retainers and retainers cost money; 4) cell phones need to be charged in order to work; and above all, how, how will we ever get him to understand the first and foremost rule of domestic tranquility?
IF MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY, AIN'T NO ONE IN THE HOUSE ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY. KEEP MOMMA HAPPY!!!!!